Dearest Ernie....Ernie Chin Sze Wing

You called me yesterday,

just for a chat...
and yet...after all these years,
You still called me "lou poh"
You knew I hated it....but it's fair..
coz I still called you "chicken" for the past 12 years,
somehow it just got stucked to you
and I find it adorable..
I just didn't know.....didn't know..

After your work, you called again...
for another marathon of chat,
I was busy and did not layan you...
You didn't give up...and called an hour later..
just to ask me out ...again...
I was with a friend in KLCC and kept the conversation short,
I can hear the disappointment in your voice...but I didn't know....
I just didn't know...

When I was about to go to bed,
you gave me your final call...I didn't pick it up...
so you left me your final voice message...
I didn't know.....

I didn't know....
that would be the last time I'll hear from you,
the last time you'll bomb me with the same question..
"when are you gonna be my housewife?"

Didn't know...
that would be the final goodbye..
and all the cranky stupid experiences which you'll share with me,
eventhough you knew I have no interest in hearing them.

Didn't know...
that you will leave us so soon,
so sudden that I don't even get to say goodbye..
for there's so much that I wanna tell you...
just so much...


I asked myself this,
would it be a different outcome if I came out to meet you?
or would I end up with the same fate as you?
what if??? what if???
I-F....if...such a simple word,
with only 2 alphabets,
but when put into use...it can change history..

All I can do now...
is replay your voice message,
over and over.....
and over...
and over again......again...
"hie lou pohhhhhh, it's meeeee Ernie,....gimme a call when you receive this...okaaaay? byeeeeee"

I do not know where will you be,
what are you thinking at this very moment?
what's playing on your mind?
how do you feel......

is Heaven really what you told me last time?
when we used to spend time under the starry skies on the beach...
talking crap and appreciating the moment...
but I know you are closer to God now,
for He loved you more...

Speaking to your brother a moment ago,
soothed me a while...
for he sounded exactly like you..
except that we were both grieving...
grieving for you...
Why do you have to leave so soon?

All the memories we shared,
will always be remembered...
Wherever you are....
You'll be greatly missed.

I'm missing you already.....heaps...